Day 10 The Mother Covenant
You recall the 5 types of Covenant from our last few days; today we will look at the Mother Covenant…where you realize “someone delights in me”.
- Your Mother
- Your Father
- Friends
- Covenant with God
- Marriage
Your Initial Covenant Relationship is with Your Mother
I remember after my first child, Jesi was born I felt this incredible sense of being part of a “secret and super special group”. Holding this infant, nursing her, and watching her develop was an incredible privilege. I was only 19 years old, married for just over a year when she was born and now this little helpless creature was completely dependent on me. I was her world. I didn’t know it at the time but I was actually her first experience in a covenant relationship.
Everything Comes to an Infant Through Mom
Even if you had a father at home who provided, as an infant and young child you likely viewed everything as coming through your mother. Most likely she provided the principles of covenant, passing through the blood and the “exchange” of the elements of covenant:
- identity
- authority
- protection
- provision
- possessions
You may be thinking…yes, I can see that…definitely had that type of relationship with my mother. OR you may be thinking…I’m already messed up because the only thing my mother gave me of those things was passing through blood…birth.
You Are In Covenant With El Shaddai – The All Sufficient One
Take heart! Even if your “Mother Covenant” was broken, God can restore! Did you know that one of the names of God is “El Shaddai”, the “all sufficient one”? In the Hebrew language El Shaddai gives the picture of a nursing mother, completely nourishing, satisfying and supplying. (Genesis 17:1) This name, used five times in Genesis, is always connected with fruitfulness and growing a family.
The Mother Covenant Lets You Know – ‘someone delights in me’
Have you ever watched a loving mother and child interact while nursing? It is a precious and beautiful site. The child at just months old will begin to see the mother’s face. He will trace her mouth, her eyes; stick his finger up her nose. The child sees in his mother’s eyes a deep and irrevocable love. The child is cherished and this close experience reveals that. This is why it is important for nursing moms to turn off the TV, put up the cell phone, get away from the computer and just bond with the child. These are precious times when your child receives an unspoken message only you can give – someone delights in you. At this time you are the child’s only known covenant partner, the truth that he or she is cherished and dearly loved must come from you.
What If Your “Mother Covenant” Was Broken?
God delights in you as a nursing mother delights in her child. Even if your own mother covenant was broken…you can call on, receive comfort from and feel delighted in by your Covenant God, El Shaddai. Take the time to sit with Him in quiteness. Be fed and nurtured by His Word. Through His Word and and the Holy Spirit you will begin to look into His face and see His delight for you.
Delight is the most important identity a mother can give her child. It is the feeling that no matter what I do or how I look or perform…I am deeply and unconditionally loved. Even when I am “Bad” and must be disciplined, I am still loved and forgiven. This delight can only come through intimate time spent, knowing and “seeing” the child.
What If Our Mother Covenant Is Broken?
If this important Covenant is broken and we do not know God can replace it, we as little children, begin to look for someone to fill that mother covenant. We may look to our father, a sibling, a relative, the mother of a friend. Sometimes that deep need is discerned and met by an abuser; breaking our hearts, creating deep seated fear, giving us a self image of ‘worthless and unloved’ and furthering our broken covenant.
If this mother covenant is broken and we do not have a “good” replacement we may, at an early age, go into covenant with ourselves and be fully impoverished.
What If You Broke the Mother Covenant with Your Children?
This is a tender subject. There are many ways mothers can break covenant with their children:
- Abandonment – running away from a marriage, responsibility or fear of parenthood
- Abuse – taking your pain out on your children through emotional, physical or sexual abuse
- Neglect – not taking your job as a mother seriously to provide identity, give authority and provide protection, provision and possessions for your child
- Career – turning your children over to others to raise while you pursue fulfillment or material benefit through a career
- Breaking Covenant with the father – by tearing him down and not respecting him
- Divorce & Remarriage – not knowing how to manage a husband and your children in a blended family
- Abortion – ending your child’s life out of force, fear or selfishness or maybe you were misled into thinking it didn’t really matter
What do you do, if you have broken the Mother Covenant?
First of all, take no condemnation from learning about this important Covenant. While breaking the mother covenant caused hurt to you, your children and your family, when we repent, God covers ALL sin with the Blood of Jesus to be remembered no more. In fact, Jesus sacrifice is so complete, it cleanses us from the guilt of sin to the point we no longer are conscious of it, and it also removes the stain of sin from our body.
Hebrews 10:22
“Let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.”
We can also ask Him to cover our sin in the hearts, minds and lives of our children. He is able and willing to restore…our job is just to repent. Forgive yourself, Forgive others involved. Release others from owing you anything and turn it over to Jesus Christ, your Covenant partner – remove the guilt and the stain of sin.
Dear Heavenly Father,
I’ve broken covenant with my children (names). Please forgive me and cover that sin with Jesus’ blood to be removed from my life and my family. I commit this broken covenant to you, Jesus, my covenant partner. As my Covenant partner I ask you to provide, protect and give new identity to my children. Bring them to your table to experience your richness and covenant with you. I receive your forgiveness and I choose to forgive myself. Show me how to walk fully in Covenant with you. In Jesus Name. Amen.
A Broken Covenant Creates A Thought “I Have to Take Care of Myself”
My heart broke as the young woman shared her story of abuse and abandonment as a young toddler. Her home was empty and her parent’s inattentive, caught up in their own abuse and addictions. This little girl at 3 or 4 years of age would check the faucets regularly to see if water would come out. With no to little food and a cycle of abuse she remembers saying to herself at this young and tender age “I can’t trust anyone to take care of me…I must take care of myself” and so, as a toddler this beautiful child went into covenant with herself.
The broken Covenant prevented this young woman from bonding with anyone…and left her lonely and afraid. When she chose to forgive this broken covenant and understand she was in covenant with herself and repented, God began to restore many broken relationships.
What Does Being In Covenant With Yourself Look Like?
The Covenant can be broken at any stage of Covenant; with mother, father, friend, marriage or children. We can go into what we “think” is a “God Covenant” with another person, a religion, a church or an organization. Ultimately, if and when these human Covenants fail us we will decide, like my young friend “I can’t trust anyone to take care of me…I must take care of myself”.
On the outside those words seem wise…after all, we are to be personally responsible for our own well-being, right? The problem happens when we decide to become fully INDEPENDANT of God and everyone. We try to furnish our own Identity. We become our own Authority. We are solely responsible for our own Provision, Protection and Possessions. We are in Covenant with ourselves. What is the problem?
Remember, Covenant is About Exchange and Interdependence
Covenant, the kind God created us to desire, is about exchange.
- We exchange our strengths and weaknesses for our Covenant partners’ strength.
- We exchange being our own authority and invite anothers wisdom into our lives.
- We work together with our Covenant partners for mutual benefit of provision, protection and sharing possessions.
When you are in Covenant with yourself you are indeed impoverished
Regardless of how much earthly wealth you accumulate, you can never be rich in covenant with yourself. Why? You have no one to exchange with but yourself. You are completely and utterly self-reliant. While this may look “strong and stable” on the outside, it ultimately produces nothing but driven fear…for if you stop providing all these elements of Covenant for yourself for even one moment of rest, you are in grave danger.
Does this resonate with you? Have you experienced a broken covenant with your mother, your father, a friend, a church or a marriage? Have you broken one of these covenants? There is hope and there is a way to learn to Trust God and learn how to have proper covenant relationships.
In Jeremiah 29:11-12 God says
“I know the plans I have for you declares The Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope. And when you seek me with all your heart, you will find me.”
Your Covenant God is there for you, even if everyone else, including the church or Christians have broken covenant with you. Even if your parents or your spouse broke covenant – God has not.
Your responsibility is to forgive the broken Covenant and turn it over to your Covenant Partner, Jesus Christ.
Dear Heavenly Father,
My (mother, father, spouse, friend, child, church, employer) has broken Covenant with me. It hurts and I am now afraid to trust anyone. I realize I have been in Covenant with myself and now I am impoverished of body, soul and spirit.
I receive the identity of a much loved child of God, a Covenant Partner with Jesus Christ.
I give you authority in my life, you guide my steps, my thoughts and my heart.
I give up striving to provide for myself, protect myself and give myself possessions.
I choose to forgive that person or persons who broke Covenant with me. I release them from owing me anything and I receive full restitution from you for any losses this broken Covenant has caused me.
You are my Covenant partner. I choose to honor you.
In Jesus Name, Amen.
Covenant is the Mindset of Honor.
The Mother Covenant is not intended by God to last forever. While you will always love and cherish your child, you must release them to grow and expand. There is a natural transition and release to their Father, to God and ultimately if they are married, to Covenant with their spouse.
Tomorrow we will look at the responsibility of the Father in Covenant and the transitions from Father to God to Marriage.
About the Author: Celeste Davis, is a passionate follower of Jesus Christ with a heart to walk fully in Covenant with Him. As Founder of The Wellness Workshop, Celeste’s heart is to teach women and impact their families to “Be Nourished” as opposed to dieting or trying different life strategies. We nourish our bodies with God-Made Food, our Souls with God-Made Relationships and our Spirits with the Word of God and Prayer. More Info about Celeste
